When your parents start getting older, worrying about their safety becomes part of life. Are they remembering to lock the door? Did they get home okay? Is the house secure at night?

These concerns are natural—and they're shared by millions of adult children across the UK. This guide explores practical ways to help elderly parents stay safe and secure at home, whilst respecting their independence and dignity.

The Balance: Safety vs Independence

Here's the tension every family faces: you want your parents to be safe, but they want to maintain their independence. Nobody wants to feel "watched" or treated like a child in their own home.

The best security solutions for elderly parents are ones that:

• Provide information without intrusion
• Support independence rather than replacing it
• Are simple enough to not cause frustration
• Give everyone peace of mind—parents and children alike

Getting this balance right matters. Heavy-handed monitoring can damage relationships and make parents feel infantilised. Light-touch solutions that enhance safety without taking over are usually better received.

Common Door Security Concerns

Door security is often at the top of the worry list for good reasons:

Forgetting to Lock Up

As we age, routine tasks can slip. Your mum might have locked the door reliably for 40 years, but now occasionally forgets—especially if she's tired, distracted, or unwell. This isn't a sign of serious cognitive decline; it's a normal part of ageing. But it does create vulnerability.

Difficulty Operating Locks

Arthritis, reduced grip strength, and vision problems can make traditional locks harder to use. If locking the door becomes effortful, it's more likely to be skipped.

Confusion About Lock Status

For parents with early cognitive changes, uncertainty about whether the door is locked can cause real distress—or lead to repetitive checking behaviours that disrupt daily life.

Vulnerability to Doorstep Crime

Older adults are disproportionately targeted by bogus callers, rogue traders, and distraction burglars. Having secure doors and awareness of who's at the door is especially important.

Practical Solutions That Work

1. Lock Monitors

A lock monitor is a sensor that tells you whether the door is locked or unlocked—viewable from an app on your phone. It doesn't control the lock; it just reports status.

Why it works for elderly parents:

• You can check they've locked up without calling to ask (which can feel intrusive)
• They maintain control of their own door—no remote unlocking
• Creates opportunity for natural check-ins ("I noticed the door was unlocked, everything okay?")
• No installation disruption—fits over existing locks
• Some models show lock history, so you can spot patterns

2. Video Doorbells

A video doorbell lets you (and potentially your parents) see who's at the door before opening it. This is particularly useful for screening unexpected callers and knowing when carers or visitors arrive.

3. Door Chains and Limiters

Simple and low-tech, a door chain or limiter allows the door to be opened partially—enough to speak with someone—without fully opening. This provides protection against push-in crimes.

4. Improved Lighting

Motion-activated lights near entrances make it easier to see who's approaching and can deter opportunistic criminals after dark.

5. Key Safes

For parents who might need emergency access (or who occasionally lock themselves out), a secure key safe outside the property allows family members or carers to enter without breaking in.

Having the Conversation

Suggesting security changes to parents can be tricky. Some tips:

Start with their concerns, not yours. "Have you ever worried you left the door unlocked?" is better than "I'm worried you're not locking the door properly."

Frame it as convenience, not surveillance. "This would mean you don't have to walk back downstairs to check the door" lands better than "I need to know you're locking up."

Involve them in the choice. If they feel imposed upon, they're less likely to use the solution. Let them choose between options where possible.

Respect resistance. If they really don't want something, pushing harder rarely helps. Revisit it later if circumstances change.

When More Support Is Needed

Sometimes door security concerns are part of a bigger picture. If your parent is regularly forgetting to lock up despite reminders, becoming confused about where they are, showing signs of increased anxiety about security, or unable to physically manage locks and doors, it may be time to explore additional support options.

Your GP can provide a referral, and charities like Age UK offer guidance.

Technology Shouldn't Replace Human Connection

The best security solution in the world doesn't replace regular contact. A lock monitor can tell you the door is locked, but a phone call tells you how Mum is actually feeling.

Use technology to support your relationship, not substitute for it. The ping that shows the door is locked can be the prompt to ring for a chat.